Sunday, January 2

Am I right?

Frankly speaking, I do not need to answer to anyone but I have decided to write down certain decisions that I have made.

I have been visiting my 3 nieces in hospital every two days or so. They are still not allowed to leave hospital as yet. MCYS is in the pict and conducting their own investigation to decide if my sis is allowed to keep them. Well after all this that has happened, I do not think that it is safe and I believe that MCYS is thinking the same. My ex bro-in-law has stepped forward, wants to take the responsiblity of the kids and fighting for their custody. He has been spending every night after work in hospital looking after the kids. The ball is now in the court of MCYS. The kids, through I dunno why was so stupidly following the instructions given by their mother, have recognised the seriousness of the matter, and have agreed to be under the custody of my ex bro-in-law. Personally, I feel that this is really the best option for the kids. From my hours spent in the hospital, I think that only the youngest niece is having a bit of issue, well being the youngest and thus closest to the sister, she misses the mother. Other than that, they are okay already and are fit to be discharged. Now got to wait for the approval of MCYS to discharge, as they have refused them to be discharged until they conclude their own investigation and make some decision on the custody.

As for the sister. This is really tricky. No visitors was allowed while she was in NUH. But I took a glance at her. She has since been transfered to IMH. Well I dun stay very near to IMH so I have not visited as I do not want to waste my trip. But the thing is that I do not have anything to say as well. But I heard from ex bro-in-law that she might not be charged for this incident at all because of her mental condition. And they are looking for the family to give the "love" and possibly discharge from IMH in the near future. I spent the past few days analysing the situation and decided to do the right thing. This is subjective but I have made the decision based on the whole picture.

I am challenging the authority to re-look at this case and come forward to piece everything together. I am not sure if their investigation was detailed enough since she has changed her name. I only knew that she has changed her name to some ang moh looking name when I went to the hospital. I almost didn't manage to track down. The best solution for now is for her to be in IMH for a long enough time to reflect for her actions. I knew her too well that once she is out, she will create problems for everyone. Depression is just an excuse for her actions. This person is already beyond cure.

If the newspapers and the nieces are right, she has squandered all her money from the sale of her flat in a matter of months. Over a hundred thousands gone in a while. From what I heard so far, everyone owns their own computers/laptops, hairdos that are more than 300 dollars each time (herself and the eldest niece), allows the kids to play some online games and buy those add-ons in the game, which I heard is more than 30 dollars one time, fast foods, etc. She was doting the kids so much. She is using depression as her cover not to work, but man I tell her is plain laziness. I have learnt of the horrible fact that the kids are the ones doing the house chores in the flat ever since the departure of the maid, and every meals they were eating fries, nuggets, chicken wings, etc. Yes the kids loves it but man it is most easy to cook, just using the deep fryer machine.

I have only spent a few hours with the kids, god knows how much more I can find out from them. So if I let this woman come out of IMH, where would she go with no money and no place to stay? How can I help? I am not a millionare. Given how she is squandering money, I think that I would need to be a billionare to substain. Haha.

Maybe in the end, I caused the problem - I let her have the DPS money of my late mum, which was 1000 dollars per month for about three years. It was supposedly for the care of my late mum but I let her have it. I was paying for the medical expenses of my late mum from my study allowances. I let her have 75% of the CPF money of my late mum when she was 55, which she squandered in weeks. I also lent her cash to help the family so many times that I have lost count.

I was so easily to be cheated those days. To her, I must be the best brother on earth. But when I realized that I cannot sustain her never-ending and ever-growing demands, and my life is not going anyway. I broke down.

That dark period concides - the end of the DPS money and the ceasing of the maintenace that my father was giving till I was 21. I couldn't help her anymore. I was only left with my salary and I was paying my late mother's medical and living expenses, and half of the maid's salary and levy. I am struggling to meet ends myself. I was thinking how to cut down my expenses more when I see her enjoying life, using my mother's CPF money on 42 Inch LCD TV, computer, air con, renovation, etc. And despite helping her all much in the past, and explain that I do not have the money, she kept demanded more and more.

You cannot blame me for turning my back. She has pushed me to the edge and that was the darkest days of my life. But I kept myself alive and going because of my late mother. I decided that seeing her through was then the most important duty as a son. I have then made certain decision on my sister if you have read my blog long enough. I knew that she is beyond cure already. That confession of her suffocating my late mother took the most out of me.

And now this case, with the custody of the kids now hang in the balance, she definitely will come out and wants to fight for the kids. With the law and society not on her side, it will be ugly, very ugly. If this person can kill the mother, wants to kill the kids and herself, what else she cannot do when pushed into a corner? The worst thing is that she was using the depression to her advantage. I fought against her so many battles, I knew exactly her character. She is stubborn, and she would do anything to achieve her goal. But man she is really sick.

I have decided to come clean with MCYS all the developments for the past decade. They might not have certain details as some are medical in confidence. I have made the painful and toughest decision but I have consulted my father. We have both agreed that it is not safe for her to be out at the moment, we have no ways to take good care of her, and she should warranted all the medical attention that she should deserve. I need to consider the safety of all my relatives, especially my nieces. I am willing to take the responsiblty to help with the medical fees, but I do not accept that responsibility of signing her out of IMH again. At least not very near future.

Circumstances has changed from May 2007. She promised me that she would live a good life and take care of my 3 nieces. And my 3 nieces needed their mother back then. I was doing it for the sake for the 3 nieces.

But right now, I do not think that it is safe anymore at all. I do not want to take a risk again. I believe that I have made the best decision looking at the biggest picture. It is not about right or wrong. It is the best one.

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