Haiz

Well my first appeal has failed.

Hmmm I guess that I didn't take it that well. I was expecting a better news. Hmmm I was coming from the perspective - why is there no leeway in terms of housing policies for singles who fought the way up the social ladder from dysfunctional and underserved families?

Basically there is just no policy for pp like me. Staying alone because of special circumstances and earned more than the salary celing for rental flats?

I was angry. Really. I was thinking negatively. Why did I land myself in such situation? Why should I bother to climb up the social ladder in the first place?

That's when I sent out my second appeal. I still dunno the outcome of that.

But after attending the Para-Counselling skills course over the weekend at NACLI, it was really a great time to attend it. I started to see the problem from another prospective.

Whether the second appeal is successful or it will fail just like the first one, I realized that the problem and the answer lies in me in the first place.

All along, I have this solution but it is my choice not to exercise it. I have my reasons of doing so. But maybe I still end up going down this path. It may seems a clear cut case but no.

Where is my father when I needed him the most? He was never there during my childhood. He was barely home.
He chose not to visit my late mother when she was ill.
He chose to stay away when my sister fought with me. Even he knew that I was down with severe depression because of the constant fights and unreasonable demands by my sister. He never stood in.
Till today, he is protective of my sister when he mentioned about the past. To him, my sister's actions was "influenced" by my then brother in law. And that includes the "murder" of my late mother if my sister was not lying about it 3 years ago.

And HDB expects me to stay with him. It is not so easy. 26 years of my life? Did I even see him for more than 500 times in my life? As far as I remember, I don't think so.

Hmmm I guess that I rather spend more to rent a room outside. Or maybe make my camp my permanent residence. I am even seriously considering to extend my overseas posting to 2 or 3 years if I do not have any more place to stay. But that also means that I will definitely need to stop grassroots work that I am enjoying so much at the moment. That's the only thing that is stopping me.