Headache

Well going back to work yesterday means that I finally know what am I supposed to do in the coming months and it brings me big headaches. I knew that there is always the possibility of me getting involved in quite a big way, but I was still hoping that it would not be. But now, I guess that I got to take a backseat in terms of community work due to work commitment, and I dunno, it's just so paiseh. I am in the committee and yet my contribution and presence is so small and so rare as compared to the others.

The worst part must be hearing that I might be away again later part of the year. Another 3 -4 months trip. But nothing is concrete yet through. I know that I am not the first choice but the length of the trip deters others from going. And this is definitely more challenging working environment than the earlier one. It's always good to travel, but I am hoping that they could find eventually find someone else. But well IF my big boss decide to ask me to go, I also dun really have much choice. But really, I dun feel good sitting in my grassroots committee without any significant contribution.

This year is really bad. So hard to do what I want to do. I really need some good time management. I think I will resign from the committee if this overseas trip is confirmed, through I know they are trying to groom me to hold higher appt. But I personally think that it is better to have someone who is physically around to be inside the committee, and is only right for me to let it go.

And if confirmed, this will seriously affect my training for my half marathon. Thank God I only signed up for half and not full. But with the knowledge of a possibility of another overseas trip, I dunno how to sign up for courses which I am supposed to go as grassroots leader, and I also cannot commit myself for any more races until I know whether I am going or not.

What to do? It's part of my job hazard. Always ready to go.