Decided to meet up with my father after work on Friday evening after a troubled week at work. It was a impromptu decision made when I was at Choa Chu Kang MRT Station at 9pm. I only left camp at 8 plus in the night, together with one of my men, Leon. As he is staying in Serangoon, decided to follow him and be adventurous and take the Circle Line for the first time to Bartley Station, which is the nearest station to the warehouse until Tai Seng Station opens, where I linked up with my father who drive the company vehicle and picked me up. Despite the station being very near, took me quite a while to get him to know my exact location.
Went back to Bedok and as per normal, go to the coffeeshop and have our dinner, and started our round of drinks. We downed 8 bottles of beer. Yesterday was great. No company workers from China. None of his "China"girl friends. Only a young beer girl from China (one of his god-daughters, hahaha) but she kinda joined us very late in the night, or should i say, very early in the morning. So just the two of us for the best part of the drinking session. So we are free to talk rather freely.
And the center of the conversation - nonetheless the focus is my elder sister. Well my father spent quite a bomb on his expenses upon hearing the good news, he is a very generous, nice and social-able man. He treated his friends, many of whom are company workers from China, his girl friends, to food and drinks. She even committed to give a big ang pao to my father, even promising at least a 4 digit sum, she was so convincing that my father really believed her. And went ahead to spurge quite a bit.
Till now, just about 18, 19 days from the proposed marriage date. Still no news from her. My father's call to her has remained unanswered and she did not return his call. The proposed meeting with the future brother-in-law still did not happen. It seems to us that it has collapsed but not hearing any confirmation from her.
Can really sense his disappointment as he nagged about it between the drinks. Yeah it is not his first time to hear such a news but this time round is really so convincing, and the news of it has also spread among the relatives. Well there would definitely questions to be answered during the upcoming lunar new year when all the relatives gathered. But it is the last concern of my father now. He wants to know what really happen. How to know when the daughter is not responding?
He is also concerned if indeed this has really collapsed, how is my sister dealing with it? Especially when the news of the re-marriage is so well spread.
I have my reasons for drinking as well. I thought that I can breathe a bit easy with the shipment already out of the way. But alias it didn't turn out this way. My direct superior wants me to help her to prepare for the upcoming audit in March, when I am attached out to the exercise. It is not the first time this issue surfaced, the instruction from my big boss the last time round is for me to concentrate for the exercise. It is already stated to her back then but now with the shipment out of the way, she is trying to get me back again. I cannot defy her orders also. So back to those stressful days when I have to settle the demands of both sides.
Something got to give in the situation. I snapped. I cannot be having both sides throwing me stuff to do. So the issue was brought up to higher level through the exercise team again. My direct superior is not very pleased of coz. And I also cannot openly tell her that I cannot be working for her like this. Coz at the end, she will be writing for my yearly performance. Hahaha.
I dunno man. I forfeit 12.5 days of leave last year to get the shipment stuff ready. The exercise team has already given the green light to clear my off, but I found myself in a very difficult situation. How the fuck I can clear my off, when the direct boss wants me to prepare for the audit? If she knows that I am clearing my off, and not helping her, it is gonna to be really difficult.
I dun get extra pay or credit for working so hard. Of coz I am not only looking at that. But then I am tired, I do want a few days of break to do what I want to do. Maybe 2 weeks might be a bit too much, 1 week is good for me to do some serious spring cleaning. But even that, I may not even get it.
In a way, I feel good that both parties is fighting over me over my work ability. But in the end, what did I got for working so hard? I got more and more off which cannot be finished, and more and more work which she expect you to finish before u can even think of clearing.
Haha I dunno what will come out of this saga. I am no longer the yes man. This is the first time I fought over my direct boss which is very temperamental. But then I am no superman, that is no way that I can cope with the demands of both sides. I do admit that I am kinda playing with fire. But I got to fight for my rights also. In the first place, She is not following the original direction from my big boss.
I hope that I can sort out the issue next week. Hopefully I can clear some of my off sometime during the 1st 2 weeks of Feb, leading to the Lunar New Year. Now the Germany trip cannot come sooner enough. Hahaha. But ya at the end, I am coming back to same dept, so what is the worst thing to happen? Get bullied again and forfeit my off also to help prepare for the audit? It is really sad if it got to happen. But I am not discounting it from happening.
I am not going to keep quiet through. I will make sure my big boss know. Coz it is really unfair for me. At most, I can prepare to post out.
Back to my father, we drank till the wee hours of the morning. We even adjourned to the adjacent coffee shop which operates 24 hrs to carry on our rounds of drinks. Of coz we talked more than just my sister, there are other topics, too many to share. We drank and talk all the way till 4am before we parted way, he is still working today. I was supposed to go back to go something for the exercise team coz I still have work to be done but haha ended up skipping it coz I woke up rather late. Must really rush it out by Monday le.
Going through some old stuff when cleaning my place today - read through a letter sent by my ex, Hwee fung, after the end of our relationship 5 or 6 years ago (haha I hope that I remember the years right). It did not seems to be so long ago, but haha i guess it is really 5 or 6 years already. I never tore the letter my ex thought so that I would, as written in the letter, I thought about certain issues that have happened & mentioned in the letter. Ya she is right, I was self-centered & childish. I didn't remember replying to the mail at all.
Through I dun think she is following this blog le. It's been so long since the end of this relationship. I just want to say that I am really sorry to have hurt her. Ya I was self-centered, it was wrong of me entering this relationship in the first place now that I think back. My heart was elsewhere. The manner of me ending this relationship is really so sudden and damaging to her feelings. Now thinking back, it is really wrong of me, and I felt bad.
I shall not find any reason to justify my actions. But I just thought it is more worst of me if I have carried on to take her for a ride when my heart is elsewhere. The ultimate fault still falls back to me taking advantage of knowing her feelings towards me.
5 years. Very long awaited confession I must say. I really hope that she's doing well in her life. Sorry.
It just dawned on me that time really flies. Really.
My heart is still at where it was. So I have been waiting and waiting for like 8 years le? Ya i dunno it will be worth it at the end. Maybe I should just give up and start seeking again.
And the letter, it is going back to my cabinet. It is an important part of my memories.
Shall carry on with the cleaning le.
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