"Fyi i injured my right hand in front of mom last night and I last night overdose on sleeping pills so the best is either let her have sleeping pills or i took it forever ok"

"If this persist on i will kill her first and end my life together with her ok! I wont fucking care abt my children and they will be under care by u"

"I hope u can spare a thought for me if after my divorce if i can meet someone special willing to spend the rest of my life together with e kids. What will happen to mom then? We need to discuss this issue too"

"Talk to yr mom tml if she is not feeling well pls admit her again cos i am hurting myself now ok"

"Do you have 100 dollars to lend me first? Cos family doctor refer me to hospital cos my right knuckle now swollen so he said i might need an x-ray coz i smashed up the mirror last night after talking to mom la"

"My doctor gave me medicine for my depression and he define me as breakdown"

"I was refer to see a psychiatry cos the doctor from A&E felt that i will continue injured myself more further much more than youngest uncle ok"


According to my sis, my nieces, and the maid, my mother has been "conducting concert" daily for the past 2 weeks. She would make all sorts of noises from 5pm till the next morning, disturbing everyone from sleeping. My sister got so frustrated that she broke 2 fingers on thu night.

My mother is not sick, she looks fine to me this morning. And from the timing of her "concert", she seems to be doing it on purpose. Maybe she wants some attention. But to do it throughout the night, i think if i was staying with her, maybe i would blow my top too.

I spoke at length with my mother this morning. I dunno if she understands what i was saying. But i have made it very clear. If my sister drove her out of her house, i have no means of supporting her. I cannot afford a maid by my own, not forgetting still have to pay for her medical expenses as well. I know that i might hurt my mother today, but the truth indeed hurts.

I am not sided with my sister. But at this moment, i think that this is the best situation for her to stay with my sister. Moving back is not an option, my sister will not pay for the maid if the maid is not looking after her kids. So i need to come up with the additional half of maid's levy and salary, expenses which is maybe another 600-700 dollars on top of my salary, which is simply beyond me. Is not that i dun want. Is just that i dun really have a choice.

If not, it might be back to an equation that is raised 2 years ago. About 2 and a half years ago, to avoid any more painful conflicts with my sister, i did brought the topic of nursing home before. Then my sister kept "twisted" my arms using my mother, thus the idea. But it did not happen then, because my sister was dead against it. Now I dunno. She might love the idea.

Not that i am unfilial. I am really running out of ideas. I am getting quite frustrated and irriated.

But i also dun understand something. I dunno why the "concert" is such a big issue? Is it so bloody loud? Maybe i should go pay a surprise visit in the evening.

And ya one more thing, i dunno is it my mother dun understand liao or is my sister dun understand liao? I have explained again and again that my mother might not understand instructions, and yet my sister still expect me to do something to keep my mother quiet. Something's wrong, isn't it?

Why can't they treat these noises as "music"? Afterall, if the doc is right, my mother is showing signs of getting worst from her already quite worst condition. So how long more can u still appreciate this "music"?

Why can't they just look at things from a different point of view?

How this will develop? I dunno. Of coz i hope my words this morning will work. If not, i really dunno. I got not much options, not much ideas, no way out. Stuck in a dead corner again.

Sianz