Hardly the best preparation.

From diarrhoea last weekend, to the flu and coughing this week which I have yet to recover from, was hardly the best preparation for the distance that I attempting to conquer tml. I haven't even mention about the lack of training yet. But then it is just me - in my life there is so many odds and obstacles that is against me, but somehow I would find ways to overcome it. My strategy tml is to jog normally for a half marathon, and then after that, it is all about my mental. But being sick, i would listen to my body, if I got to abort the mission, I would. But my target is clear, I would like to make it back to the finishing line within the cut off timing.

The sickness is actually caused by the concurrent appointments that I am holding onto now. My lady boss kept asking me to go back to my office despite me attached over to the other office for the preparation for the overseas. She can even make remarks that I am doing nothing at the other office, when I am supposedly to be stand in as the OIC for my section for the preparation, as my OIC would be on overseas leave during the most crucial period. I hate people for accusing me of not working. If I am not working, for what the f*** I stayed overtime to rush my work so that I can hand over my primary job smoothly. I know that there are things that are outstanding, so I wanted to clear before I handed over, so what did I get in the end? I was thinking to go back on a sat, but then i decided to f*** care already when I know she is making this type of remarks in front of my big boss. What and why should I care so much in the first place???

When I am under her, said good things about me. When I am not under her, turned face immediately and said bad things about me. Good very good boss.

The sick and tired feeling came back again. After what I endured this week, I just thought that I am too nice a person to stay in the force. I kana makan everytime everywhere i go. With the integrated work force concept, and my vocation that I was in gradually changing from service to combat, I can sense my time is numbered. And I have made up my mind on leaving. It is just a matter of when. For now, i am concentrating in the preparation for the overseas trip, for that it would be likely to be my last main task before I throw paper.

I seriously have enough.